1. Start harassing TV writers for interviews again and quit using the lame excuse that I’m too busy with actual work.
  2. Find a way to win the lottery without ever having to buy a ticket so I can retire, travel the world and do whatever I want without being too busy with actual work.
  3. Plan a vacation that lasts more than a week and crosses more than 1 time zone. See resolution number 2.
  4. More fluffy kitties. Fewer debates with irrational people.
  5. Maintain low expectations for awards shows.
  6. Spearhead a revolution if Hugh Laurie does not win an Emmy.
  7. Try not to use the word “smug” when describing my country’s psyche. At least not in public.
  8. Don’t thank cops who give me tickets. Don’t apologize to people who bump into me. Don’t be smug. Find other ways to be patriotic.
  9. Latch on to some random industry I know little about and launch a website to promote it.
  10. Stop making New Year’s resolutions.

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