The good, the bad, and the funny

Good: I’m working on a podcast for the TV, Eh? site and it’s been both fun and a huge learning experience.
I completely ruined the podcast while completing the last production step, and had to redo it all from the original files.
Good: The redo went much faster because I’ve had practice.
Bad: Forget the Pollyanna attitude, I lost a week’s worth of work.
Good: I’d originally scheduled two weeks to figure all this out, and I’m at one week plus a day since getting all the pieces I needed.
Bad: I’m weeks behind on the original schedule already.
Good: No one cares.
Bad: No one cares.
Good: I’m almost finished.
Bad: The “almost” is because my microphone doesn’t play nice with Audacity.
Good: I think I came up with a solution.
Bad: I’m tired and grumpy and will see if it worked tomorrow.
Good: It can wait until tomorrow.
Bad: I want to throw my computer off the balcony but am afraid of killing someone.
Good: I am apparently not homicidal.
Bad: I really need a laugh.
Good: My stupid Maclean’s magazine RSS feed finally kicked in again and I got to read stuff like this while I contemplated the futility of life, or at least computers:

A survey has found that 18 per cent of adults in our country — in excess of four million individuals — do not know the name of Canada’s prime minister. …

On the upside, while we may not be book smart, or knowledge smart, or actually-knowing-things smart, it’s still entirely possible that we are street smart. Unless you expect us to remember the name of the street, in which case, no, we’re not.

(Further proof of our national not-smartness: on the same day the Dominion Institute announced its findings, Coors Light released its first batch of Cold-Certified cans — which feature “temperature-sensitive thermal chromatic ink technology” that changes the colour of the can when the contents are “ice cold and ready to enjoy.” My fellow Canadians, it has come to this: we no longer possess even the rudimentary intelligence required to determine when our beer is cold. Next up: Timbits stamped with the words Cram Into Mouth.)

I’ve told you to read him before, but then he disappeared and was ostracized from my sidebar. But that was from Scott Feschuk’s new, improved blog. Don’t get too attached.

That led me to his last Maclean’s magazine column, which made me nearly explode. Just to be clear: with laughter.

Good news, everyone: at long last a pharmaceutical company has come up with a drug that combines all the health benefits of losing weight with the unforgettable thrill of soiling yourself in public! …

Unlike certain weight-loss drugs, Alli (pronounced “ally,” as in: if you want to lose weight and all your friends, Alli is your ally!) does nothing to reduce your desire to eat. Instead, it stops the body from breaking down and absorbing fat — a remarkable scientific achievement, really, if you take away the whole crapping-your-pants thing. In fact, GlaxoSmithKline claims Alli is able to block about 25 per cent of the fat you eat while simultaneously grossing out 100 per cent of the people sitting next to you on the bus.

But really — how common can these so-called “treatment effects” be? Well, the actual makers of this actual drug actually advise users to “bring a change of clothes to work,” and suggest that it’s probably a “smart idea” to wear dark pants.

He’s not kidding. I mean, he is, but the makers of Alli apparently aren’t.

Ah, nothing like laughing at mass stupidity to make me feel better about my own.

This entry was posted in Canadian TV, Pseudo-Techie. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to The good, the bad, and the funny

  1. Corien says:

    What’s your feed link? (will be)
    Podcast junkie checking in here..

    And for your sanity I hope you’ve got a Mac..
    I tried podcasting on my Windows machine, then got a Mac and it is SO much easier!
    PodcastMaker and you’re done..well, not I’m not really done then, but my podcast recording system is a bit more complicated than most people’s πŸ˜‰

  2. Mary says:

    Well, if 18 percent of Canadians are incapable of remembering who Stephen Harper is, that makes me feel better about the even smaller percentage of U.S. citizens who know that.

    Given the miniscule amount of time that U.S. outlets give to Canadian news coverage, I’m lucky that “Air Farce” is available online, so I can keep up with the country next door.

  3. Diane Kristine says:

    Stephen who? πŸ˜‰

    There was a popular comedy segment here, Talking to Americans, where Rick Mercer would go down there and tell people things like Canada’s moving to the 24 hour clock, or legalizing VCRs, and get Americans on camera to congratulate us or say something about the “issue”. It’s kind of hilarious, but even Mercer pointed out that Canadians would look just as foolish if he targeted them.

    Corien, it will be at though I’ll post something to say when it’s done … eventually. Sadly for my sanity, I have a PC. I miss Macs.

    It would be simpler than it is except it’s not just me talking – I’m compiling from a bunch of different sources, many of which need serious editing, and the final step was trying to make the volume consistent. It would have been fine that I didn’t get it right the first time, because Audacity lets you have infinite redos … until the point where you close the program, which makes total sense but I just hadn’t even thought of it. And, of course, I closed the program after messing up, and hadn’t made a backup, because you get infinite redos. Argh. Lesson learned, I guess.

    What’s your podcast? Why more complicated?

Comments are closed.